The relationship between parents and children is one of the deepest and most complex ties that we have in our lives. Parents do their best to raise, support and love their children. Parents invest time, energy and money to support their children. They take care of them, raise them, pay school fees, buy clothes and provide a home. Many parents sacrifice their own needs to ensure that their children have everything they need to grow up. This commitment and love are admirable and deserve respect and gratitude. But what happens if this loving act of education flows in a demand for material goods? In this blog article we will deal with the question.
In today's globalized world it is easier than ever to stay in the distance with our loved ones. The technology enables us to make cross -border communication easier, which is undoubtedly a blessing. Unfortunately, this openness also poses problems, especially when it comes to children who are contacted by their parents living abroad and are pushed to send money. This practice has become an increasing problem in many parts of the world.
What are the motives behind this behavior?
First of all, it is important to understand that not all parents who ask their children for money do this out of evil intentions. In some special individual cases, financial difficulties or emergencies can be the driving force behind this request. If parents are in financial difficulties, it is important to encourage them to find alternative solutions. This can include the search for state support, participation in financial consulting programs or the search for other sources of income. Adult children can be helpful in this regard by offering emotional support and bringing their expertise in dealing with finances.
In some cases, parents could take advantage of their children's love and trust in order to benefit from them financially. This can be done through targeted manipulation and emotional blackmail. Some parents could try to cause guilt at their children by pointing out how much they have done for them in the past. This can put children under pressure to send money to support their parents.
Parents should not make their children a guilty conscience because they have sacrificed themselves for several important reasons:
- Parenthood is a choice: parenting is a conscious decision that adults make. If parents have children, they voluntarily decide to take responsibility for their upbringing and well -being. This means that parents should take responsibility for their decisions without making their children guilty.
- Children should not be held responsible for the decisions of the parents: children have not asked to be born. You have no control over the decisions that your parents make in terms of parenting. It is unfair and inappropriate to blame children for their parents' victims and decisions.
- Responsibility and willingness to sacrifice are part of parenthood: parenthood undoubtedly requires victims and responsibility, but this should not serve to create feelings of guilt among the children. Responsibility and victims, the parents provide for their children, are part of the process that is motivated by love and commitment to the family.
- Parents should see their victims and responsibility as an expression of their love for the children and focus on building a healthy and supportive relationship with them. Open communication, empathy and mutual understanding are crucial to maintain a loving parent-child relationship in which children feel loved, safe and accepted.
How can children protect themselves?
- Questioning inquiries: If your parents or other relatives abroad ask you for money, you should always ask questions and understand the reasons for your request. Think about whether the request is plausible and whether you are able to help.
- Set limits: It is important to set clear financial boundaries and know how much you are willing to give. Be honest and openly communicate your financial situation with your parents.
- Get advice: If you feel unsafe, it is advisable to speak to friends, other family members or even a professional consultant. You can help you analyze the situation and make the best decisions.
- Trust your gut feeling: if something is wrong or you feel like you are manipulated, trust your instinct. It's okay to say "no" when you feel uncomfortable.
Parents should help their children and children should help their parents independent and go their own way. The relationship should be based on love, trust and independence. Adult people should see that they alone get their own life under control. If parents are in financial difficulties, it is important to encourage them to find alternative solutions.
It is important to emphasize that there are also some cultural differences between collectivist cultures and western cultures when it comes to expectations of children to support children.
Collectivism vs. Individualism:
The community and family and family are the focus of collectivist cultures that can often be found in countries in Asia, Africa, Eastern Europe and Latin America. Children are expected to support their parents in old age because the family is considered a unit. In western cultures that are rather individualistic, the focus is on personal freedom and autonomy. Children are encouraged to go their own way and live their own lives without the same obligation to support their parents in old age.
Generational contract:
In collectivist cultures, an unspoken "generation contract" is often accepted, in which parents ensure the upbringing of their children and their training, while the children later have a responsibility to take care of their parents when they are old. In western cultures, there are tends to be less clear expectations regarding this generation contract, and the support of parents in old age can be a personal decision that is not considered an obligation.
Social pressure and stigmatization:
In some collectivist cultures, there can be social pressure and stigmatization if children do not adequately support their parents. The failure to fulfill this obligation can be regarded as a moral failure. In western cultures, there is usually less social pressure and stigmatization in terms of support for parents in old age, and the decision is made more on an individual basis.
Care systems:
In some western countries there is a good social security system that offers older people financial support and health care. This reduces the pressure on the children to support their parents financially. In collectivist cultures, state supply systems can often be less developed, and responsibility for the care of the older generation is more important to the family.
Conclusion
It is important to note that these differences represent general trends and that there can be individual variations in every culture. Some people in collectivist cultures can decide against the expectation of supporting their parents, while some are very closely linked to their families in Western cultures and provide this support. The cultural differences can also change over time, since companies and values develop.
Children should show their parents recognition and gratitude for the love and support they have received. It is important to express this appreciation in different forms, but without getting into financial difficulties.
It is important to emphasize that every family is different, and there is no uniform answer to the question of whether it is appropriate that parents demand things from their children. The recognition of the love and care of the parents and the definition of clear limits can help to maintain a healthy and respectful relationship.
Healthy parent-child relationships are based on love and support: parents should love and support their children unconditionally. Creating a guilty conscience harms the relationship between parents and children and can lead to negative emotions such as guilt and resentment. Children need an environment in which they feel loved and accepted to develop healthy. Parents who create a guilty conscience do not help to ensure that children develop strong self -esteem and self -confidence.
Open communication, setting limits and promoting parental independence can help to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship. With patience and compassion, you can master these challenges and maintain the special bond with your parents.
